Although sexual problems are universal and common, it can be a sensitive subject to
address. Research evidence shows that 42% of men and 51% of women report having had a
recent sexual problem. People living with long standing sexual problems are often too
embarrassed or ashamed to talk about their difficulties with their partner. The lack of
communication and performance anxiety can take a toll on their love life and their
relationships as a whole.
Individuals and couples often come to see me when they are going through a transitional
stage within their relationship. At the beginning of the relationship, everything is fresh and
new; sex is mutual, frequent and exciting. As the couple settle into a different phase of their
relationship, sex dwindles as it becomes mundane and routine. Where there is a
discrepancy or loss of desire, sex becomes a duty. Although both partners are affected by
the loss of intimacy, they often find it hard to talk openly about their sexual needs and
wants to each other. Some couples avoid physical contact altogether in fear of rejection or
unwanted sexual interactions.
As a fully qualified sex therapist, I specialise in helping individuals and couples to resolve a
wide range of sexual issues, which includes:
• Low libido
• Discrepancy of desire
• Painful penetrative sex
• Difficulties with orgasm
• Erectile difficulty
• Rapid or delayed ejaculation
• Fear of sex
• difficulties with penetrative sex
• Menopause
• Arousal disorders
• Low body image relating to sexuality
• Impact of illness or disability
• Sexual compulsivity and addiction
Sex therapy is a specialised therapeutic approach designed to help people overcome sexual
difficulties as a result of physical, psychological or relational factors. It is a collaborative way
of working that can empower individuals and couples of any sexual orientation and age
group to rekindle closeness and intimacy in relationships whilst resolving their sexual
difficulties in a holistic way.
Within a relaxed and confidential environment, my empathetic and warm approach can
help you feel at ease and confident to talk more openly about sexual feelings and concerns.
The initial assessment involves exploring an individual or couple’s personal circumstances,
relationship dynamics, the nature, duration and level of their sexual issues. Subsequent
history taking sessions focus on in-depth information about the personal history, sexual
development in relation to the presenting sexual difficulty.
It is important that any
underlying conflict and communication difficulties, previous experiences and any medical
history that can cause the sexual issues are considered. For instance, erectile difficulty could
be related to diabetes or an early sign of undetected vascular disease. Previous or present
illness, trauma or sexual abuse may have subconsciously impacted on their beliefs and
attitudes towards sexuality.
Depending on the nature and duration of the sexual concern, sex therapy aims to primarily
focus on the present looking at how the difficulty affects an individual and the couple's
relationship. However, in situations where unconscious thoughts and beliefs are one of the
factors that maintain their difficulty, an integrative approach is used to ensure the success
of the therapy. Exploring where patterns stem from often leads to increased awareness of
unconscious motivations and defences that contribute to unhelpful relational patterns and
responses. Together we can address and tackle these barriers by developing strategies to
enable sustainable changes that help to restore intimacy and eroticism in your relationship.
Once the root cause of the presenting sexual difficulty is identified, treatment can proceed
according to the treatment goals agreed with the clients. All relevant information gained in
history taking sessions is used to inform and guide the treatment programme designed for
your personal situation. Sexual information giving sessions, which focus on normal human
sexual responses and the physical causes of sexual problems are used to assist the clients to
dispel sexual myths by replacing them with realistic conceptions about sex.
Sex therapy does not involve any sexual acts or nudity in the consulting room. To enable you
to learn and tune in with your partner and your own body sensations and sexual responses,
the programme is structured with individual and joint tasks to be carried out in the privacy
of your own home. For optimum treatment outcome, it is important that you set aside 2
hours per week to do these tasks as agreed in each session. Subsequent exercises are built
on the success of the previous tasks and regular review of the sessions are carried out to
keep the treatment process on track until you successfully reach your goals.
In my experience, clients who create time and space to carry out the home tasks
consistently report positive experiences and great connection throughout the process. This
client group continues to develop and achieve their goals as the therapy has given them the
tools to rekindle desire and intimacy whilst sustaining an active and fulfilling sex life in the
long run.
